Flowchart to choose your programming language

Just now, I found a cool site to generate flowchart from source code (just like dot program):

(click for larger picture)

Anyway this just a joke, just like before (if programming language were religion/woman), may odds be in your favor..

Btw here's the code if you want to modify.. please use http://pastie.org if you want to do a long comment containing source code..

Choosing Programming language flowchart;
if(I really really care 
about runtime performance) {
  if(I am masochist..) {
    if(I like Mozilla..) {
      Use Rust;rust-lang.org
    } else {
      Use C++;cplusplus.com
    }
  } else if(I don't want 
  to learn something new..) {
    Use C;cprogramming.com
  } else if(I like long lines..) {
    Use Java;java.com
  } else if(I like FP?) {
    if(But I'm not masochist..) {
      Use Scala;scala-lang.org;
    } else if(I like parentheses..) {
      Use Clojure;clojure.org
    } else if(I like Microsoft) {
      Use FSharp;fsharp.org;
    } else {
      Use Haskell;haskell.org;
    }
  } else { 
    if(I like Microsoft..) {
      if(I hate C++) {
        if(My computer is ancient..) {
          Use VB6;
        } else {
          Use VB.NET;
        } 
        vbforums.com;
      } else {
        Use CSharp;csharp-station.com;
      }
    } else if(I like Facebook..) {
      Use Hack;hacklang.org;
    } else if(I like Apple..) {
      if(I'm a bit masochist..) {
        Use Objective-C;developer.apple.com;
      } else {
        Use Swift;swift-lang.org;
      }
    } else if(I like Google..) {
      if(But I also like java 
      and javascript..) {
        Use Dart;dartlang.org;
      } else { 
        Use Go;golang.org;
      }
    } else {
      // you can also use Lazarus
      // lazarus.freepascal.org
      Use Delphi;embarcadero.com;
    }
  } 
} else {
  if(I don't want to install a thing..) {
    if(I use linux, mac, or win 10) {
      Use Bash;bash-hackers.org;
    } else {
      Use Javascript;javascript.com;
    }
  } else if(I love spaghetti..) {
    if(I don't care about my future..) {
      // Most likely you will be killed by maintainer that reads your code..
      Use Perl;perl.org;
    } else {
      Use PHP;php.net;
    }
  } else if(I want to make game mods..) {
    Use Lua;lua.org;
  } else if(I like indentations..) {
    Use Python;python.org;
  } else {
    Use Ruby;ruby-lang.org;
  }
}

Aww snaps, I forgot to add Elixir, Julia, and Crystal  -_- oh well.. maybe sometime in the future.