Prime Number Generator Benchmark

Today we're gonna benchmark about prime number generator (without sieve and prime library). The spec is generating all prime number below 10 million and outputting every 100k-th prime found. As usual, the source can be found on my dropbox (folder: prime). The benchmark performed on 64-bit Linux, i3-4150, 16GB RAM and non-SSD disk.

# desired output:
1299721
2750161
4256249
5800139
7368791
8960467

$ g++ --version
g++ (GCC) 4.9.2 20150204 (prerelease)
$ time g++ -std=c++11 prime.cpp
CPU: 0.20s      Real: 0.23s     RAM: 50232KB
$ time ./a.out
CPU: 2.94s      Real: 2.95s     RAM: 6592KB
$ time g++ -O2 -std=c++11 prime.cpp
CPU: 0.21s      Real: 0.23s     RAM: 51912KB
$ time ./a.out
CPU: 0.85s      Real: 0.85s     RAM: 6616KB

$ clang++ --version
clang version 3.5.1 (tags/RELEASE_351/final)
$ time clang++ -std=c++11 prime.cpp
CPU: 0.19s      Real: 0.23s     RAM: 46792KB
$ time ./a.out
CPU: 2.93s      Real: 2.94s     RAM: 6488KB
$ time clang++ -O2 -std=c++11 prime.cpp
CPU: 0.20s      Real: 0.22s     RAM: 50484KB
$ time ./a.out
CPU: 0.84s      Real: 0.84s     RAM: 6636KB

$ go version
go version go1.4.1 linux/amd64
$ time go build prime.go
CPU: 0.11s      Real: 0.12s     RAM: 30364KB
$ time ./prime
CPU: 2.48s      Real: 2.49s     RAM: 20412KB

$ javac -version
javac 1.7.0_75
$ time javac prime.java
CPU: 0.73s      Real: 0.44s     RAM: 47464KB
$ time java prime
CPU: 1.21s      Real: 1.18s     RAM: 104580KB

$ javac -version
javac 1.8.0_40
$ time javac prime.java
CPU: 0.96s      Real: 0.45s     RAM: 59860KB
$ time java prime
CPU: 1.23s      Real: 1.19s     RAM: 104716KB

$ ruby --version
ruby 2.1.5p273 (2014-11-13 revision 48405) [x86_64-linux]
$ time ruby prime.rb
CPU: 20.97s     Real: 20.99s    RAM: 14388KB

$ rbx --version
rubinius 2.5.2.c85 (2.1.0 e8a24276 2015-02-23 3.5.1 JI) [x86_64-linux-gnu]
$ time rbx prime.rb
CPU: 14.20s     Real: 14.15s    RAM: 54004KB

$ jruby --version
jruby 9.0.0.0-SNAPSHOT (2.2.0p0) 2015-02-24 2a3dc1f OpenJDK 64-Bit Server VM 24.75-b04 on 1.7.0_75-b13 +jit [linux-amd64]
$ time jruby prime.rb
CPU: 38.79s     Real: 36.41s    RAM: 298688KB

$ node --version
v0.10.36
$ time node prime.js
CPU: 1.61s      Real: 1.62s     RAM: 24796KB

$ pacman -Qo `which jsc-3`
/usr/bin/jsc-3 is owned by webkitgtk 2.4.8-1
$ time jsc-3 prime.js
CPU: 2.30s      Real: 2.31s     RAM: 22008KB

$ js24 --help| grep Version
Version: JavaScript-C24.2.0
$ time js24 prime.js
CPU: 1.19s      Real: 1.24s     RAM: 15488KB

$ echo | rhino
Rhino 1.7 release 4 2014 07 01
$ time rhino prime.js
CPU: 56.23s     Real: 55.72s    RAM: 873048KB

$ echo | jjs -version
nashorn 1.8.0_40
$ time jjs prime.js
CPU: 23.36s     Real: 22.28s    RAM: 448144KB

$ php --version
PHP 5.6.5 (cli) (built: Jan 22 2015 18:29:09) 
$ time php prime.php
CPU: 36.70s     Real: 36.77s    RAM: 111488KB

$ hhvm --version
HipHop VM 3.5.0 (rel) Compiler: 1422366928_067131079
$ time hhvm -v Eval.Jit=true prime.php 
CPU: 5.92s      Real: 11.14s    RAM: 98288KB

$ python --version
Python 3.4.2
$ time python prime.py
CPU: 78.33s     Real: 78.51s    RAM: 33476KB

$ pypy --version 
Python 2.7.8 (10f1b29a2bd2, Feb 05 2015, 16:50:17) [PyPy 2.5.0 with GCC 4.9.2 20141224 (prerelease)]
$ time pypy prime.py
CPU: 3.66s      Real: 4.14s     RAM: 84180KB

$ lua -v
Lua 5.2.3  Copyright (C) 1994-2013 Lua.org, PUC-Rio
$ time lua prime.lua
CPU: 22.16s     Real: 22.19s    RAM: 18628KB

$ luajit -v
LuaJIT 2.0.3 -- Copyright (C) 2005-2014 Mike Pall. http://luajit.org/
$ time luajit prime.lua
CPU: 6.64s      Real: 6.65s     RAM: 10360KB

$ mcs --version
Mono C# compiler version 3.12.0.0
$ time mcs prime.cs
CPU: 0.35s      Real: 0.36s     RAM: 39704KB
$ time mono prime.exe 
CPU: 1.78s      Real: 1.79s     RAM: 16368KB

$ dart --version
Dart VM version: 1.8.5 (Tue Jan 13 12:44:14 2015) on "linux_x64"
$ time dart prime.dart
CPU: 1.37s      Real: 1.38s     RAM: 31604KB

$ crystal --version
Crystal 0.6.1 [0162f84] (Mon Mar 16 15:22:20 UTC 2015)
$ time crystal prime.cr
CPU: 2.53s      Real: 2.62s     RAM: 28552KB
$ time crystal prime.cr --release
CPU: 1.18s      Real: 1.23s     RAM: 36784KB

$ julia --version
julia version 0.3.6
$ time julia prime.jl
CPU: 3.09s      Real: 3.12s     RAM: 71576KB

$ nim --version
Nim Compiler Version 0.10.2 (2014-12-31) [Linux: amd64]
$ time nim c prime.nim
CPU: 0.66s      Real: 0.69s     RAM: 44728KB
$ time ./prime
CPU: 7.65s      Real: 7.67s     RAM: 12224KB
$ time nim c -d:release prime.nim
CPU: 1.36s      Real: 1.36s     RAM: 55376KB
$ time ./prime
CPU: 2.44s      Real: 2.45s     RAM: 12160KB

$ rustc --version
rustc 1.0.0-dev (built 2015-02-23)
$ time rustc prime.rs
CPU: 0.36s      Real: 1.76s     RAM: 95960KB
$ time ./prime 
CPU: 3.75s      Real: 3.76s     RAM: 6196KB
$ time rustc -O prime.rs
CPU: 0.34s      Real: 0.38s     RAM: 96764KB

$ time ./prime 

CPU: 1.03s      Real: 1.04s     RAM: 6224KB

$ gnatmake --version
GNATMAKE 4.9.2 20150304 (prerelease)
$ time gnatmake prime.adb
CPU: 0.40s      Real: 0.44s     RAM: 51540KB
$ time ./prime
CPU: 5.85s      Real: 5.86s     RAM: 5488KB
$ rm prime prime.o prime.ali; time gnatmake -O2 prime.adb
CPU: 0.86s      Real: 0.91s     RAM: 57084KB
$ time ./prime
CPU: 1.27s      Real: 1.27s     RAM: 5348KB

$ fpc -version
Free Pascal Compiler version 2.6.4 [2014/03/12] for x86_64
$ time fpc prime.pas
CPU: 0.01s      Real: 0.02s     RAM: 10636KB
$ time ./prime
CPU: 3.42s      Real: 3.42s     RAM: 6688KB
$ time fpc -O2 prime.pas
CPU: 0.01s      Real: 0.02s     RAM: 10568KB
$ time ./prime
CPU: 3.00s      Real: 3.02s     RAM: 6688KB

And the summary:

Compiler / Interpreter	Language	Compile Duration	Compile RAM	Runtime Duration	Runtime RAM	Total Duration
g++	C++	200	50232	2940	6592	3140
g++ (-O2)	C++	210	51912	850	6616	1060
clang++	C++	190	46792	2930	6488	3120
clang++ (-O2)	C++	200	50484	840	6636	1040
go	Go	110	30364	2480	20412	2590
javac, java	Java	730	47464	1210	104580	1940
ruby	Ruby			20970	14388	20970
rbx	Ruby			14200	54004	14200
jruby	Ruby			38790	298688	38790
node	JavaScript			1610	24796	1610
jsc-3	JavaScript			2300	22008	2300
js24	JavaScript			1190	15488	1190
rhino	JavaScript			56230	873048	56230
jjs	JavaScript			23360	448144	23360
php	PHP			36700	111488	36700
hhvm	PHP			5920	98288	5920
python3	Python 3			78330	33476	78330
pypy	Python 2			3660	84180	3660
lua	Lua			22160	18628	22160
luajit	Lua			6640	10360	6640
mcs	C#	350	39704	1780	16368	2130
dart	Dart			1370	31604	1370
crystal	Crystal			2530	28552	2530
crystal (--release)	Crystal			1180	36784	1180
julia	Julia			3090	71576	3090
nim	Nimrod	660	44728	7650	12224	8310
nim (-d:release)	Nimrod	1360	55376	2440	12160	3800
rustc	Rust	360	95960	3750	6196	4110
rustc (-O)	Rust	340	96764	1030	6224	1370
gnatmake	Ada	400	51540	5850	5488	6250
gnatmake (-O2)	Ada	860	57084	1270	5348	2130
fpc	ObjectPascal	10	10636	3420	6688	3430
fpc (-O2)	ObjectPascal	10	10568	3000	6688	3010

Note #1: PH7 failed to give any output within 1 minute.
Note #2: IO failed to give complete output within 2 minutes.
Note #3: Nimrod caches the compile process, so the second time compile are less than 100ms
Note #4: Potion failed to give complete output within 2 minutes.
Note #5: Gnatmake caches the compile process, so the second time compile are less than 10ms, but it doesn't overwrite when different flag used (-O2 for example).
Note #6: Some languages can be compiled, and some other can be executed directly using certain command, but I choose one that I learned first (but I will benchmark both method when I have much free time)
Note #7: Compile cache deleted before every (3) benchmark run, the value taken are the median.

Changelog:
2015-03-03: benchmark published
2015-03-xx: Lua, C# (mcs), and Dart added
2015-03-17: Crystal, Julia, and Nimrod (nim) added
2015-03-18: ObjectPascal (fpc), Ada (gnat), and Nashorn (jjs) added

String CombSort Benchmark update!

Previously, we have benchmark CombSort algorithm implemented in various programming language for array of number. Let's compare this algorithm with addition integer to string conversion the language's built-in string library. The benchmark should not use any other built-in function other than string, integer conversion and array generation and printing. The benchmark uses AMD A8-6600K, 16GB RAM with Non-SSD disk.

$ alias | grep 'alias time'
alias time='/usr/bin/time -f "\nCPU: %Us\tReal: %es\tRAM: %MKB"'
$ time --version
GNU time 1.7

$ g++ --version
g++ (GCC) 4.9.2 20141224 (prerelease)
$ time g++ -std=c++11 scomb.cpp
CPU: 0.18s      Real: 0.20s     RAM: 35868KB
$ time ./a.out
CPU: 19.32s     Real: 19.60s    RAM: 548912KB
$ time g++ -std=c++11 -O2 scomb.cpp
CPU: 0.20s      Real: 0.24s     RAM: 38184KB
$ time ./a.out
CPU: 13.76s     Real: 14.05s    RAM: 548816KB

$ clang --version
clang version 3.5.1 (tags/RELEASE_351/final)
$ time clang++ -std=c++11 scomb.cpp
CPU: 0.15s      Real: 0.20s     RAM: 42240KB
$ time ./a.out
CPU: 18.89s     Real: 19.21s    RAM: 548868KB
$ time clang++ -std=c++11 -O2 scomb.cpp
CPU: 0.20s      Real: 0.23s     RAM: 45824KB
$ time ./a.out
CPU: 13.87s     Real: 14.15s    RAM: 548820KB

$ javac -version
javac 1.7.0_71
$ time javac scomb.java
CPU: 1.13s      Real: 0.80s     RAM: 65324KB
$ time java scomb
CPU: 48.96s     Real: 27.59s    RAM: 906652KB

$ hhvm --version
HipHop VM 3.5.0 (rel)
$ time hhvm -v Eval.Jit=true scomb.php
CPU: 89.92s     Real: 90.38s    RAM: 877468KB

$ ruby --version
ruby 2.2.0p0 (2014-12-25 revision 49005) [x86_64-linux]
$ time ruby scomb.rb
CPU: 114.67s    Real: 115.21s   RAM: 870612KB

$ node --version
v0.10.35
$ time node scomb.js
CPU: 17.44s     Real: 17.41s    RAM: 411144KB

$ pacman -Qo `which jsc-3`
/usr/bin/jsc-3 is owned by webkitgtk 2.4.8-1
$ time jsc-3 scomb.js
CPU: 60.08s     Real: 43.66s    RAM: 834744KB

$ js24 --help | grep Version
Version: JavaScript-C24.2.0
$ time js24 scomb.js
CPU: 19.27s     Real: 19.62s    RAM: 735556KB

$ go version
go version go1.4.1 linux/amd64
$ time go build scomb.go
CPU: 0.14s      Real: 0.17s     RAM: 30428KB
$ time ./scomb
CPU: 11.45s     Real: 11.54s    RAM: 251628KB

$ scala -version
Scala code runner version 2.11.5 -- Copyright 2002-2013, LAMP/EPFL
$ time scala -J-Xmx3000M scomb.scala
CPU: 83.42s     Real: 46.10s    RAM: 1093924KB

$ python --version
Python 3.4.2
$ time python scomb.py
CPU: 121.33s    Real: 122.06s   RAM: 641844KB

$ pypy --version
Python 2.7.8 (c6ad44ecf5d8, Nov 18 2014, 18:04:31) [PyPy 2.4.0 with GCC 4.9.2]
$ time pypy scomb.py
CPU: 14.72s     Real: 14.97s    RAM: 522080KB

$ lua -v
Lua 5.2.3  Copyright (C) 1994-2013 Lua.org, PUC-Rio
$ time lua scomb.lua
CPU: 98.11s     Real: 98.54s    RAM: 863880KB

$ luajit -v
LuaJIT 2.0.3 -- Copyright (C) 2005-2014 Mike Pall.
$ time luajit scomb.lua
CPU: 21.30s     Real: 21.61s    RAM: 511268KB

$ dart --version
Dart VM version: 1.8.5 (Tue Jan 13 12:44:14 2015) on "linux_x64"
$ time dart scomb.dart
CPU: 11.92s     Real: 12.15s    RAM: 497788KB

The code can be found on my dropbox (folder: str-comb), and here's the summary:

Compiler / Interpreter	Language	Compile Duration	Compile RAM	Runtime Duration	Runtime RAM	Total Duration
g++ (debug)	C++	180	35868	19320	548912	19500
g++ (-O2)	C++	200	38184	13760	548816	13960
clang++ (debug)	C++	150	42240	18890	548868	19040
clang++ (-O2)	C++	200	45824	13870	548820	14070
javac, java	Java	1130	65324	48960	906652	50090
hhvm	PHP			89920	877468	89920
ruby	Ruby			114670	870612	114670
node	Javascript			17440	411144	17440
jsc-3	Javascript			60080	834744	60080
js24	Javascript			19270	735556	19270
go	Go	140	30428	11450	251628	11590
scala	Scala			83420	1093924	83420
python3	Python 3			121330	641844	121330
pypy	Python 2			14720	522080	14720
lua	Lua			98110	863880	98110
luajit	Lua			21300	511268	21300
dart	Dart			11920	497788	11920

Write down your opinion (or pastie if you found a bug on these source, or if you want to add more language implementation) on the comment section ^^)b

Note #1: PHP 5.6.4, Rubinius 2.5.2, JRuby 9.0.0a1, Rhino 1.7, MCS 3.12 failed to end their execution within approx. 120s timeout

If Programming Languages were Religions

This is old (2008) but still fun to re-read ^_^;;
Re-blogged from higherorderfun (Rodrigo Monteiro).
(Inspired by “If programming languages were cars“)
See other comparison about programming language and anything here.

C would be Judaism - it’s old and restrictive, but most of the world is familiar with its laws and respects them. The catch is, you can’t convert into it – you’re either into it from the start, or you will think that it’s insanity. Also, when things go wrong, many people are willing to blame the problems of the world on it.

Java would be Fundamentalist Christianity – it’s theoretically based on C, but it voids so many of the old laws that it doesn’t feel like the original at all. Instead, it adds its own set of rigid rules, which its followers believe to be far superior to the original. Not only are they certain that it’s the best language in the world, but they’re willing to burn those who disagree at the stake.

PHP would be Cafeteria Christianity – Fights with Java for the web market. It draws a few concepts from C and Java, but only those that it really likes. Maybe it’s not as coherent as other languages, but at least it leaves you with much more freedom and ostensibly keeps the core idea of the whole thing. Also, the whole concept of “goto hell” was abandoned.

C++ would be Islam - It takes C and not only keeps all its laws, but adds a very complex new set of laws on top of it. It’s so versatile that it can be used to be the foundation of anything, from great atrocities to beautiful works of art. Its followers are convinced that it is the ultimate universal language, and may be angered by those who disagree. Also, if you insult it or its founder, you’ll probably be threatened with death by more radical followers.

C# would be Mormonism - At first glance, it’s the same as Java, but at a closer look you realize that it’s controlled by a single corporation (which many Java followers believe to be evil), and that many theological concepts are quite different. You suspect that it’d probably be nice, if only all the followers of Java wouldn’t discriminate so much against you for following it.

Lisp would be Zen Buddhism – There is no syntax, there is no centralization of dogma, there are no deities to worship. The entire universe is there at your reach – if only you are enlightened enough to grasp it. Some say that it’s not a language at all; others say that it’s the only language that makes sense.

Haskell would be Taoism - It is so different from other languages that many people don’t understand how can anyone use it to produce anything useful. Its followers believe that it’s the true path to wisdom, but that wisdom is beyond the grasp of most mortals.

Erlang would be Hinduism – It’s another strange language that doesn’t look like it could be used for anything, but unlike most other modern languages, it’s built around the concept of multiple simultaneous deities.

Perl would be Voodoo – An incomprehensible series of arcane incantations that involve the blood of goats and permanently corrupt your soul. Often used when your boss requires you to do an urgent task at 21:00 on friday night.

Lua would be Wicca – A pantheistic language that can easily be adapted for different cultures and locations. Its code is very liberal, and allows for the use of techniques that might be described as magical by those used to more traditional languages. It has a strong connection to the moon.

Ruby would be Neo-Paganism – A mixture of different languages and ideas that was beaten together into something that might be identified as a language. Its adherents are growing fast, and although most people look at them suspiciously, they are mostly well-meaning people with no intention of harming anyone.

Python would be Humanism: It’s simple, unrestrictive, and all you need to follow it is common sense. Many of the followers claim to feel relieved from all the burden imposed by other languages, and that they have rediscovered the joy of programming. There are some who say that it is a form of pseudo-code.

COBOL would be Ancient Paganism – There was once a time when it ruled over a vast region and was important, but nowadays it’s almost dead, for the good of us all. Although many were scarred by the rituals demanded by its deities, there are some who insist on keeping it alive even today.

APL would be Scientology – There are many people who claim to follow it, but you’ve always suspected that it’s a huge and elaborate prank that got out of control.

LOLCODE would be Pastafarianism – An esoteric, Internet-born belief that nobody really takes seriously, despite all the efforts to develop and spread it.

Visual Basic would be Satanism - Except that you don’t REALLY need to sell your soul to be a Satanist…

Thanks to jfs and other people on #aegisub for the suggestions. Keep in mind, this list is a joke, and is not meant to offend anyone. Also, if you’re a ******, please don’t kill me.

-- and some of the comments (butt-hurt people and flames filtered)

Well if you want to add JavaScript to the list, how about we class it under Black Magic. Seeing how it is something designed to help us achieve good, with unintentional consequences beyond our comprehension, plus it can be used by evil doers to control, spy and mess with the innocent. I personally use as little as possible JavaScript, resorting more to server side code if possible. Or Alcoholism, the more you do it, the more it rots your brain as you realize that functions are objects, your prototypes are polluting namespaces, and you just can't seem to get any closure. Or Jedi Religion. Those who master it can do anything.

What about Prolog? Surely that'd be Atheism (yeah - I know, not technically a religion, but you know what I mean) a completely rationalistic take on the programming universe by following scientific deduction.

Smalltalk is the ancient Egyptian religion. The Initiated know it already had all the important concepts working long ago and most popular modern languages are incomplete subsets of it that obsess over artificial restrictions of their own creation while entirely missing the reason their code exists in the first place. And the heart of your code will be judged against the Feather of Truth before it can join the message passing afterlife. Smalltalk would be Freemasonry: lots of companies know it and use it but are afraid to say they do because it is a competitive advantage to them. Therefore it is a close, near-secret society of users. Moreover Smalltalk programs use reflection as means to improve themselves, which is one of the key principles in freemasonry. Last but not least they are viewed by several other religions as ancient outcasts, but they know better and are still quietly changing the world and influencing others.

Machine Language is Animism - the belief that ultimately everything is made out of bits and on some level can be thought of as an executable.

Assembly Language is Shamanism - the idea that we can use symbols to more easily communicate with the binary world. Also that we can change the visible world by journying into the hidden realm by the use of debuggers. Or Assembly is Atheism... followers believe that whatever you do, there is only the reality on the chip. You shouldn't need intermediary or 'fake' rules to deal with the reality right in front of you, but they can be useful for guidance so long as you don't believe them. They believe if you can handle it, you are enlightened, but understand a human need for simplicity. Try to argue with them though, and you'll get an earful.

Delphi is obviously Catholic. We enjoy lots of structure, and the VCL/RTL protects us from making most windows calls directly. It was founded (created) by somebody who is said to have super-human (very good technical) abilities. It grew to a point where it had a lot of power and followers. Many things have changed since Delphi was founded and, somehow, it has managed to evolve and grow (Delphi for .NET), however, in the process, it has lost the consistency that characterized its earlier flavors. Due to gross mistakes in its leadership (yeah, Borland), Delphi has lost ground to newer religions like C#, dynamic languages and, of course, the Web; but it still manages to survive and grow within its possibilities. -- Pascal/Delphi is Church of England. Once having quite an extensive and radical following, it has since mellowed out a lot. These days its followers have mostly given up on converting the world to their point of view. It's looked down at with some bemusement by some of the bigger languages that see themselves as more serious. Has trouble attracting young people. Pascal is Catholicism, it's old, was meant as a universal language, developed in a town that has climate similar to Rome, a language with no actual compilers--only interpreters, a language in which most anybody who does any programming had to learn, a language that no one practices, a language with simple but very strict rules making it a very litigious language such that if you don't follow all of the rules all of the time to the minutest detail, you will never experience the joy of getting your program to actually run, only frustration, confusion and guilt.

Fortran would be like the Amish faith - there's a relatively small number of programmers that use it, they don't try to proselytize others into using Fortran (perhaps knowing it's futile), and if you weren't born into it (that is, it wasn't the first or second major programming language you learned) there's about zero chance you'll ever understand it (and if you do learn a little about it later in life, you'll shake your head and wonder how anyone could adhere to it). And yet its adherents refuse to let it die. Also if you have programmed in Fortran for years and then discover another language you like better you'll probably never go back, so it's likely those in the "Fortran forever" camp will shun you from then on (at least they will never admit that your new preferred language could possibly be better!). But no one denies that you can run Fortran successfully on horse-and-buggy era computers (metaphorically speaking, of course!) and if, someday, something (like an EMP) destroys all the semiconductor-based computers, the Fortran guys will probably be able to run their language on the old vacuum-tube based Univac computers, and will therefore be far ahead of their peers who need the modern semiconductor-based technology to accomplish anything!

Objective-C would be Jews for Jesus. They want to keep the old ways, and extend them in a lovey dovey easy-to-use ways.

Groovy is Emergent Christianity: it comes from Java, but it's much hipper, its adherents look down on the Java followers they're still friends with, and they're a lot less concerned about putting things into such rigid categories. It's also low on ceremony and can easily modify itself as needed.

RPG would be Jehovah’s Witnesses. RPG programmers are of the elite 144,000 left in the world (because there are only 144,000 left in the world) and believe we are in the last days of the present world and lots of people make fun of them for their beliefs and rigid standards

Applescript is an analogy to Shinto: It pervades everyday life on Mac OS X, has few requirements or taboos, has been around practically forever (it started life as Hypercard), and is easy to get your mind around. It also has Steve Jobs as its Amaterasu. The only problem: As Shinto is confined solely to Japan, so Applescript is confined solely to Mac OS X and is found nowhere else.

Postscript is like one of those weird native south american religions where you have to get completely mashed on psychoactive herbs to program in it and then spend the next two days solid vomiting

Forth is like Kaballah, learning it requires lots of meditation on stuff like number theory and the calculus of infinitesimals, and any written stuff on it sounds to the uninitiated to be solid gibberish, but once you know it you see that it's just a systemization of minimalism-worship.

Clojure would be Unitarian Universalism. Although technically based on Java, it looks more like an eccentric version of Lisp. Somehow, the Renaissance and Enlightenment managed to produce, on a foundation of Java, a language that has the spare simplicity, lack of doctrine, and freedom of Lisp, that nevertheless, somehow, is able to coexist peacefully and productively with Java, while also incorporating modern ideals found in neither.

Ada is Anglicanism. Created by fiat as the official language of the government but nobody really pays it much attention anymore.

Brainf*ck, I think, would be Discordianism. Is it a programming language disguised as a joke, or is it a joke, disguised as a programming language..?

Check the next blogpost, if programming langauge were woman.